


Babysitting

by Beleriandings



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Babies, Fluff, Gen, this is so fluffy Scanlan play Wonderwall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beleriandings/pseuds/Beleriandings
Summary: (From an anonymous prompt on tumblr: Grog babysitting a gnome baby.)





	Babysitting

The thing was, she was just so _small_.

The first time he held her, Grog stared at the baby sleeping peacefully in his hand, his mind desperately trying - and failing - to deal with just how small she was.

Make no mistake, Grog had been near babies before. He had little cousins and half-cousins that were smaller than him. He had seen goliath babies aplenty, and they were all pretty small compared to him, and much less educated. 

It wasn’t even the first time he had _held_ a baby: just recently, he had seen a something-elf-something-human baby (toddler? How did their ages work? He didn’t know, except she had hair and this one didn’t) too. That one had been about the size of his hand with fingers outstretched. And she had blinked up at him innocently with her mother’s eyes, and then started gnawing on his finger with her new teeth, very casually and politely.

But this. This child was…. _so_ small. So small, he felt tears come to his eyes. So small he could fit her in his pocket. If Grog had pockets. Which he didn’t. Maybe he should get pockets? Grog forced himself to stay on track. The thing was, she was just sleeping there, as if his hand was just another one of the cloth slings that Pike and Scanlan had begun taking turns wearing, to show her the world.

(Look at him, having a whole crisis over how small this baby was, part of him thought. But Grog supposed that was just how his life was now, and realised at the same time he wouldn’t change it for the world.)

It was, despite everything he had seen and fought and killed, a strangely terrifying experience.

Because, Grog realised, you had to hold her so, so gently. And he didn’t really know how to do that; Pike was always smaller than him, growing up, but she could hold her own, she was a tough little ball of brightness and strength. But this baby….he wondered if this is what Pike had been like when she was this young, before he had known her. He supposed she must have been; that led to wondering if this child would grow up like her mother, or her father. He hoped it would be a bit of both.

All this thinking was making his head spin and bringing warm tears to his eyes. But luckily, he didn’t have to think about that particular thing anymore, because at that moment, the baby squirmed a bit, squishing up her tiny face and making some gurgling noises in her throat.

Then she opened her mouth and let out the loudest sound he had heard coming out of an extremely small person, ever, in his life. With the possible exception of, well, Scanlan.

Grog panicked a little then; did she hate him? Was she afraid of him? He didn’t want her to be afraid of him, he realised at that moment. He hoped she wouldn’t be. He tried to think of what to do, but came up with nothing. So, he did what he always did in such circumstances.

He touched his earring. “Pike?” he said, over the yelling.

There was a muffled sound as Pike answered. “Yes, Grog?” She caught the sound of her daughter crying on the other end, and sighed. “Ohhh, I see.”

“Why’s she this…loud? Is this supposed to happen?”

“Hang on. We’re coming.”

True to their word, a glittering purple portal opened up in the room after a mere few seconds, and out jumped Pike and Scanlan, hand in hand. “Hi” said Grog sadly, over the sound of crying. “Sorry to interrupt your date night, but…” he held out the baby in his palm, awkwardly. “Uh, yeah, sorry I said I’d look after her, but…she doesn’t seem to like me?”

“Oh…” said Pike, taking the baby from his hand, bouncing her up and down in a way that Grog would have been nervous to even attempt, himself. “It’s not you, Grog, I promise” she reassured him. She looked down at the baby. “What’s wrong little monster? Hmm?“

“I think she needs her diaper changed” said Scanlan, wrinkling his nose. “Here, I’m the one with the proficiency in poop, I’ll do it this time…”

“Thank you” said Pike, gratefully, as Scanlan laid his daughter gently down on the table, and began to peel off her clothes and cast prestidigitation to clean her up. As he did, he began to sing, softly under his breath.

_“Tonight, is gonna be the night that I’m gonna clean up your poo,_   
_By now, you should have realised that Grog’s like your parent too,_   
_And baby, you’re gonna be the one that saves me,_   
_Cause after all, you’re the best baby of all…”_

As Scanlan finished up and picked up his now quiet daughter, bouncing her for a moment, Grog felt Pike lay a gentle hand on his arm, smiling up at him so, so softly. And that was the moment Grog realised he was actually and genuinely crying.

“Don’t cry Grog” said Pike. “Do you want to hold her again in a minute?”

“…Yeah” said Grog. “Yeah I think I do.”


End file.
